TIRED!

I was gonna write something good and realized im tired and i need to sleep anyway so ill write later when i get the chance ill take lots of notes and write after thanksgiving. so anyway goodnight! and i love my best friend btdubbs! im so lucky to have someone as good as her!

Im so sorry!

Man, ive realized that lately i have been a total jerk to one of the people i care for the most in my life and will always be there for me and i feel horrible. I hate when you realize what an aweful person you are and how bad you suck! Im there. But I hope they forgive me and still will want to be my greatest friend. Cuz i dont think i could really ever find a friend as good  as her in my life. Lord help  me and her! forgive me please for  being such a jerk. and thank you for letting me  realize it so i could turn it around. Youve blessed me with an amazing friend and im so sorry for taking advantage of things and treating her the way i have been.

Unspoken

Unspoken-fantastic band.

Besides the fact that this band is Christian and awesome and plays my favorite kind of music, a mixture of acoustic, piano/keyboard, a drummer though he wasnt there, and more than one vocal singers, they had a great message they told. In order to win in life you’ve got to love God, not just know Him, not just go to church, not just read your bible, and not just pray. You have to love God! In Genesis, it says God was with Adam and Eve, He wasnt just near them or away from them, He was with them, hanging out with ‘em. The reason,from all the way back to Genesis, that God made all of us (Toby Mac-Made To Love) was so God could share the things He made with us, so God could hang out with humans. He  made us to love Him and Him alone! The only way to win in this world is to love God, otherwise, nothing else works, you will fall back flat on your face, and who will help you back up? God will. He is always there. Regardless of who else is in your life or who else may not be there, He always will. You may want something another way but God’s Will will be done, and no matter how many excuses you make or what you try to finiggle in, it wont work! No matter how hard you try! Rest assured, He will get His way, but its always for the best anyway, He loves us and it says in the bible He wont put you through anything He knows you cant get through. So thank God for unanswered prayers, if God gave us what we all wanted in our prayers or what we asked for all the time, we’d be even more screwed up than we already are. As much as it hurts sometimes, thank God that He gives you trials to fall on your face and realize that you need Him. James 1:2-3 Consider it a great joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. (More Like Fallin in love-Jason Gray) In order to win in  life you HAVE to love God, theres no way around it. You have to really love Him, not just know Him  like i said above, You got to LOVE Him, adore Him, get to know Him because You want to. Dont just believe it, LIVE it. You may have everything you want in the world but your life will still suck without God, no matter how much you may think it wont, it will. Its just like in the bible, about the man who gained the world, he gained riches of the world, and lost is soul. Because without God, what’s my life? Whats your life? NOTHING! I am a grain of sand in the desert, I am simply a wave tossed in the ocean, I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow, vapor in the wind! My life and your life is nothing without God. If i gain everything of this world in my short, unimportant life and STILL GO TO HELL! What am i winning? moments of greatness and fun and exciting stuff for a short period of time that i wont remember anyway when i die and perish in the fires of hell anyway. No one wants that and if you do, God help you! So what’s the point to living? the best and really the only answer is to love God! We were made to love Him and we truely do, our life isnt perfect, theres still obstacles and stumbles and hardships, but God blesses with so many things and helps us and we will live the rest of eternity with Him! and thats where i wanna be. And always remember its easier said than done, You must truly live it out. Love back the one who loves you more than anyone else does!

I Give It To You.

Man, i want a friend who will always love me no matter what i do them, i want a friend who never gets sick of being around me! i want a friend who wouldnt trade me for anyone even if they were mad at me! i want a freind who will put me before anybody else, no matter who it is or what they are to them! i want a friend i cam literally tell anything to. I want someone who i know will always be there! i want a friend i can call in five years and say hey wasup? lets get together and hang out or something and i can still tell them everything. Ive come to realize that i keep looking or this in other people and the only one i can get it through is God Almighty! He will never leave me, He will always be by my side, He is there for me to tell anything to, i can talk to Him in five years and say whatever i want to say. He will love me just the same in five years when maybe no one else will. I have a person very dear to me and i hope they can do these things as well but that is completely up to God and what He wants for me. If He doesnt want it to happen then i guess im fine with it. But i think He wants it to and i keep thinking about it and discouraging myself and its all satan. I love tht person and i would never leave them for anyone but thats just who i am. i hope they can do the same but im giving it to God and i am so proud that i am i just need a little help.thank you lord for blessing me with something like this i am so greatful and you chose the right person for sure. Shes amazing. But you are the Almighty Wonderul Lord my God and i am with you over anybody else until the end.

this video is super cool. But i do honestly think people should stop hating on Lebron James just cause he decided to go for another team! its ridiculous, your not Lebron James so until you become one of (if not the BIGGEST) NBA star in America right now, you should just shove it (in a polite way). Lebrons awesome!

I feel dumb!

Ive been noticing lately tht things i used to think as a kid are just completely stupid and wrong. Or that things i thought for SURE would NEVER change have changed ENTIRELY! But i feel dumb because i know in a couple years or even next year or even next month or next week or maybe even tomorrow im gonna look back and say “MAN! WHAT AN IDIOT I WAS!!!” idk ill talk about htis more later i need to get ready for my stuff tomorrow and go to bed soon! Night!

Confused!

I don’t know what it is about when someone you love dearly “leaves” for a long time or a while for a reason  completely immature and selfish and you not being able to see them for a while makes it a very crummy feeling! It just sucks because you miss them but you kinda have some hatred toward the person for a good reason but you love them and its no fun to hate someone you love even a little bit! It really is crummy! ok yeah i git that from That was Then, This is Now -S.E. Hinton but still im serious. It sucks monkey “hair” is the best way i can say it. All the time of us being away so much and never seeing each other and kinda afraid sometimes to talk to each other is pulling us apart. I dont like it at all. I dont want it to happen or keep happening. I always thought this person would always be there for me and wed grow up together “brother and sister” but it doesnt look like its going that way anymore and know i feel lost, confused, mad, sad, and i dont know what to do about it besides try nd give this to God.  Which is hard sometimes because you feel like theres nothing He can do but i know there always is, im just scared! But its what i got to do. I hope God can fix all this well i KNOW He can but i sure hope it does! yall know what im saying. I love her so much. Id do anything for her but she needs to turn her stuff around and get back on the right track cuz shes going down a long hard path! I dont know why i decided to talk about this, iots not fun ive just been thinking about her a lot lately and im keeping all this inside me. and sometimes i feel llike i just dont care what  happens anymore but i know i do! somewhere down therei know i still do! i have to! Weve been together for so long best buddies brother and sister for life how can i just now care after a few months if shes gone now! whats going on? I dont know what to think i never know what tothink anymore. Im always confused now-a-days, ive givin up on tryin to get things, idk maybe i havent givin up but it seems like it. Maybe my brain is just trying to cope with reality for noow. I hope so cuz i dont want all this to continue! Im scared. But idk if i care anymore about the outcome of things. Ill just go with the flow now i guess well see what happens. Ill just keep all this bottled up inside until one day snap! i just hope noones around to see it! anyway i guess i just feel like saying this. I wish people understood but noone ever does. I cant explain it anymore. Im sure ill change my mindset eventually anyway. Well im gone!

Love Will Hold Us Together

I love this song! its one of my favorite christian songs. Theres so many meanings in it.  “And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” 1Corinthians 13:13. Love gets you through everything. And where would people without love? haha idk, a serial killer psychopath or something i guess. But im glad i don’t know what its like. I think we should love everyone or just give someone a smile you never know when it could help somebody out. Someone could be about to kill themselves and you just saying something nice to them could save them or sharing Christ of course! God puts everyone in your life for a reason, NEVER forget that. Also never forget that God loves everyone! including YOU! and it can get you through anything. “Its waiting for you, knockin at your door!” Hes always waiting, just let Him in you never what kinds of wonderful things can happen and how it can turn your life around. Trust me, been there done that! haha

Also, im gonna try to do this more but here is a challenge: No matter how you feel, just be nice to someone,  give someone a big smile! Say a random compliment or something. And if your mad at someone, say five things you love about them, it always works for me, my Ms. Kam taught me that. Brighten someones day instead of thinking about yourself! Ironically, you’ll feel better about yourself i promise!

Fantastic Song!

Later

Ill post something good later. Im too tired!

I Miss Cim!

I saw my brother or the first yesterday! It was awesome, exciting, and very eye-opening. Ive missed my brother a lot lately but i realized yesterday how much ive really missed him! and how much hes done for me and how much i depended on him for things!

little things like- taking me home, just telling me he loves me, feeding me sometimes with his earned money when i was hungry after doing something, being my taxi to some places, being a senior while i was a wierd little freshmen and always having my back!

Then there’s the BIG stuff-spending time with me all the time, bringing me places with him even though i was 14 and he was 18, giving me advice about everything, telling me to keep up my grades and work hard so i don’t screw up my life, teaching me all kinds of CRAZY things, letting me practice with a division 1 collage athlete (him), taking me away from some of the insanity I’m familiar with and cheering me up, teaching me how to be a retard haha, giving me those how-to-be-cool-like-me-tips, and OVERALL being my HERO!!!!

Hes my hero because he does things right and is always nice (with some exceptions) and he has good character inside of him. AND when he does something he knows is wrong, he ALWAYS tells me “Corbin, Don’t you ever do that!” “Yes sir bro!” He may not be the best in the world but to me hes the best big brother anybody could ever ask for! He means a lot to me and i really miss him. I love him  more than life, I can say that with full honesty, hes never done anything to me except maybe something out of anger and come back  later to say sorry and “I love you bro!” even through his pride. We’ve really never fought either come to think of it. Haha hes awesome and hes doing really well right now with school and just LIFE in general and I really hope he knows that I love him like no other no big brotherly love in the world and I cant wait to see him next time he comes back around!

Hes the best big brother ever! and I couldn’t love him more!